Brotherly love (part 2)

The next day found me strangely uninterested in fishing, so I suggested we get the .22s and go shoot ground squirrels preferably somewhere up in the hills and far away from the river.
We drove to one of our favorite shooting spots, an old homestead on Pleasant Hill. There we parked at the old building site, crossed a fence, and hunted up the draw to the south where we spent the next couple of hours happily terrorizing sage rats. Terrorizing may be too strong a word, but I am fairly certain we did manage to frighten a few.
Inevitably, hunger and/or dwindling ammunition caused us to decide it was time to go back home. Lyle was leading the way when we came to the barbed-wire fence. Since it wasn’t a very tall fence, he simply pushed the top wire down with one hand (The other was engaged in carrying his rifle.) and swung his right leg over the fence. As his foot was descending, he glanced down and noticed that he was about to land squarely on a rattlesnake. Unable to let go of the wire with the pointed barbs scarcely an inch from a rather sensitive area and unwilling to let go of the rifle, he vainly attempted to reverse his course. As he was teetering on the fence, the snake decided it wasn’t happy with the thought of a giant foot landing on it and began looking for an escape route. I don’t recall exactly how long this entertaining scene went on; Lyle teetering back and forth while the snake ran (crawled, slithered, whatever) in circles, but eventually, the snake made his escape and Lyle safely dismounted.
Having witnessed all of the proceeding, I asked with grave, brotherly concern, “Does that dance have a name?”

Brotherly love (part 1)

If any of you are interested, I’ve decided its time to share some of my recollections of me and my brother’s youthful adventures (more properly misadventures) growing up in Eastern Oregon. In attempting to compile and record the above mentioned adventures, I find it quite remarkable that the ones I most vividly recall all involve either pain or fear, in fact, usually extreme pain and/or absolute terror.
The one I’ll start with really occurred when we were old enough to be considered grown up in most societies. Happily, in Eastern Oregon most of us are granted at least 10 additional years of childhood and in some cases far more than that. In fact, I know of one individual totally escaping the onerous responsibilities of adulthood for his entire life.
One late winter or early spring, we were up home for a visit. Lyle and I decided that there may still be some Steelhead in the river so we went down to do a little fishing. One of our favorite spots at the time was an irrigation dam on the river a mile or so from town. When we reached the dam, we found that someone had put rip-rap on the bank below the dam to prevent erosion. This was no ordinary rip-rap, this was RIP-RAP. I mean, these rocks were the size of small cars and probably weighed more. Lyle decided wisely that discretion was the better part of valor and went on down stream to fish below the rocks. I was not about to let a few rocks keep me from my favorite spot and so carefully climbed down the rocks to the edge of the water. There I smugly planted myself to fish, my feet a scant inch above the flow and my back leaning comfortably against a mammoth boulder. I had hardly cast when I felt the rock that was taller than me, even longer, and who knows how thick, MOVE. Without hesitation, I leapt as far as I could into the stream. There, neck deep in the icy flow, I watched as the entire bank of rock came crashing into the river exactly where I had been standing.
Lyle, having witnessed all of the preceding, asked with grave, brotherly concern, “A little cold for a swim isn’t it?”

Note to self

Aluminum Sulfate, dumb a.., not Ammonium Sulfate.

What my Hydrangea looks like:


What I want it to look like:


I knew what to use, I just didn't look closely enough at the bag. Worse, I can't even think of some way to blame it on Sam. (Sigh)

On ageing

An old friend from Tek died a couple of weeks ago. Walt started there about 2 years after me and he and I worked together for the next 16 years. There was a group including Walt and I that played softball (as either team-mates or opponents), went on fishing trips, and bowled together.
Nearly all of the old gang was at the funeral. Most of these guys I hadn't seen since I left Tek in '86 and I found it difficult to recognize my old friends inside their new bodies. Their hair is either gone or really, really grey, most are much heavier, and their faces are wrinkled and jowly.
At first I didn't understand why they didn't recognize me, and then it dawned on me - their eyesight is going too.
God, it must be terrible...
; )

Anniversary Celebration

Thursday was our anniversary and we had decided on a balloon ride to celebrate. The nearest date Jan could get was Friday the 19th and we had to be at the airpark at 5:15 AM so we got a room in Newberg and went over Thursday night. Our beautiful, talented, intelligent, wonderful granddaughter Mackenzie (Kenzie, Kiki) spent the night at our house to take care of her Great-Grandmother. (If I butter her up enough, maybe she'll do it again. Did I lay it on too thick?)

Sadly, the ride was rained out or more accurately, blown out. It was too windy Friday so we'll have to re-schedule.

Instead we went to the Evergreen Air Museum in McMinnville. It's a really neat place to visit if you like aircraft and I do. Howard Hughes' HK-1 (Spruce Goose) is amazing. If you haven't seen it, you really should.

I don't know how many planes they have inside, but it's a lot. They also have quite a few outside including those like my AF squadron had.

F-102A

T-33

I actually got to fly this one. Of course the real pilot (Capt Charley Stewart) did the take-off and landing and made sure I didn't splatter us all over North Carolina, but I did get to play around with it. Great fun!!

Question of the day

ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.


CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

New terms from the Mesa Invitational

I couldn't resist passing these along:

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered from a real word. Some are terrifically innovative.

Intaxication
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone
The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Giraffiti
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis
Terminal coolness

Osteopornosis
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

Glibido
All talk and no action

Dopeler Effect
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Ignoranus
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.